Committing to Self Care
“Every leader has a choice between self-care or self-medication.” – Carey Nieuwhof When stress and life overwhelm you, you will either choose to respond to it in a healthy way (self-care) or an unhealthy way (self-medication). The choice is yours, but the reality is this: If you don’t intentionally choose self-care as a leader, you’ll end up self-medicating. When you think of self-medication, don’t just think of pills or alcohol. As we’ll see below, there are some very "socially-acceptable" ways even for Christians to self-medicate. But the results are still numbing. 5 Socially Acceptable Ways Christian Leaders Self-Medicate// 1. Overeating. Being overweight is almost normal in some Christian circles. As someone who has to watch my weight very carefully, I empathize. And I also know I often eat when I’m not hungry, but when I’m upset or just bored. 2. Working More. Again, working too many hours is socially acceptable, even rewardable in some circles. But all work and no play doesn’t just make you dull, it makes you disobedient. It’s ironic, but the way some leaders cope with the stress associated with work is by working more. It numbs the pain. 3. Gossip. It’s just a theory, but I think when we feel bad about ourselves, we say bad things about other people. Often church leaders who have failed to care for themselves end up with enough toxins inside that they want to take down others. In many churches, prayer requests are thinly disguised gossip sessions. That’s just sinful. 4. Spending. Whether it’s retail therapy at the mall, ordering more of your favorite pursuit online, or the constant climb into a bigger house, a better car, the latest tech or the latest trend, Christians can easily numb their pain endlessly accumulating things that end up in a landfill site one day. 5. Under-the-Radar Substance Abuse. Whether it’s a drink every day when you get home, or an overuse or misuse of your legitimate prescription, Christian leaders can fall into the classic pattern of turning to a substance rather than turning to God for relief. So if you don’t want to end up self-medicating, what do you do? The best thing you can do as a leader is take good care of yourself. When you carve out time to take care of yourself, you’ll always be in a better position to take care of others. There’s nothing truly new 5 options, but when you do them they have a staggeringly positive impact on your personal health and well being, spiritual and otherwise. 5 Healthy Options for Self-Care// 1. A great daily time with God. Whatever method you use (here are some ideas), time with God matters. And our personal walk with God can often a casualty of ministry. Why is that? 2. Coaching and counseling. For about 12 years I’ve had coaches and counselors who have helped me get through road bumps and life issues. Yes, I pay them money, but it’s an investment in my family, my church and my life. I’m different and better for it. Invaluable. 3. Healthy diet and exercise. Being out of shape physically means you will never be in top shape mentally or emotionally. Eating healthier and finding a way to stay active that is enjoyable, will benefit both you and those that you lead. 4. Proper sleep. If I don’t get seven to eight hours semi-regularly, I feel it. Sadly, sometimes others do too. I really think sleep is one of the most-underrated leadership secret weapons there is. 5. Margin. I am kindest when I have the most margin. This is true in terms of my calendar, but also true of finances. Learn to see open space, in your inbox, on your calendar, at the end of the month; as a gift. How can you be generous with your heart, time, money and attitude if you have nothing left to give? As you are caring for other people, (people on your team, your family, your friends) be sure to take some time this week to care for yourself. This article was excerpted from a post by Carey Nieuwhof titled “Socially-Acceptable Ways Church Leaders Self-Medicate” and originally published on CareyNieuwhof.com.